Finding Your Tribe

Although it's not that much fun to grow older, (hold me, I discovered a varicose vein) maturing and feeling more into who you are is kick-ass. In my twenties I was pretty much scared of the world, not sure which way was up. I tried on different personas but when you don't fully know yourself, you can't be yourself. Now that I'm in my 30's I'm totally enjoying the woman I have become. I know what I like, I know what values I appreciate in other people and I have found my tribe. What the what you may ask. What tribe? For me my tribe is a group of people who share similar goals and values. A group of people I know I can call on in a pinch. I have several tribes. I have my mommy tribe which is a group of women I can call on when I'm mad at the hubby, the kids are driving me crazy or I need a cup of sugar. They laugh with me, they cry with me, they bring me chocolate. They're  the women I totally trust to watch my kids for me and that is huge. You can't leave your kids in the care of people you don't trust or who don't have similar parenting philosophies. I'm so thankful for my group of mommy warriors. I also have a writing tribe. Unfortunately this tribe is mainly online but extremely valuable nonetheless. I can count on them for encouragement. They constantly reassure me that publication is just around the corner. They read drafts of my manuscript and this weekend have helped me craft my one-sentence pitch. Thank you writing warriors!! You guys kick-ass!!

So my friends who is in your tribe? If you don't have a tribe, don't worry it will come. It's an organic process. You may be part of a tribe and not even know it. Look around and think of the people you are so thankful to have in your life. Congratulations those are you tribe mates. Until next time.

Book Review: The Irresistible Henry House

The Irresistible Henry House by Lisa Grunwald is simply irresistible. (Cue Robert Palmer song.) 

It is the middle of the twentieth century, and in a home economics program at a prominent university, real babies are being used to teach mothering skills to young women. For a young man raised in these unlikely circumstances, finding real love and learning to trust will prove to be a work of a lifetime.

Extraordinary story (which is based on a program that ran at Cornell University beginning in 1919), and the extraordinary character of Henry House. If your formative years have been spent with 9 or more mothers, how do you learn to trust? How do you learn attachment? (This was also during the time that the experts said if you pick up a baby you will spoil him.) Henry struggles his entire life with striving to find his true self. His only anchor seems to be his art work which takes him on a journey from California all the way to England. Girls move through his life just as the practice mothers did so many years ago.

The story reminded me of Forrest Gump. As you travel with Henry you are given glimpses of a different time in our history. Camelot, Beatlemania, and of course sex, drugs and rock and roll!!

As I read I wanted so much for Henry to find peace and love and all those things he was lacking. That is a true sign of a great book when you are concerned about fictional characters. It was also especially gut wrenching to think about how many babies  were actually a part of this program. The practice houses would take new babies out of the orphanage, raise them in the house until they were about 2 years old and then return them to hopefully be adopted. CRAZY!! Knowing the book is based on a real event adds another layer that justs makes the story... irresistible! Until next time.

Seasons of Motherhood

Being a mom has absolutely been the greatest joy of my life. As I am quick to tell anyone who asks I love being a mom but it is certainly not all popsicles and lollipops. Not every aspect of motherhood is fun. In fact a lot of it is downright mind numbingly boring!! I'm not one of those women to pretend that it is 100%
fulfilling. Maybe those women aren't pretending, maybe it is all fulfilling to them. I certainly need a bit more in my life. As I continue on this journey I learn a little more about myself. Myself as a mom, myself as a wife, myself as a creative being, myself as a woman. As I wrap my brain around the fact that my daughter begins Kindergarten in a month, I am certainly having a bit of a mid-life crisis. I told my husband I was feeling old all of a sudden and he said "well we are officially middle aged." IDIOT!!! He should have said honey you are just as young and beautiful as the day I met you. Anywho, this new season I'm in involves letting go just a little bit. I'm realizing that my children don't need me as much as they did when they were babies. They are okay and they learn and they grow from their time with other caregivers. My daughter will be away at school all day everyday and my son will start preschool two mornings a week. I will have just a little more time to myself. I'm realizing that I have given so much to my family and that it is okay to start taking some of that energy and putting it back on myself. So that is the new season I'm in. Kind of exciting and kind of sad. No more babies in our house, which is bittersweet. I'm excited about moving forward but sad too that there won't be anymore sweet little angel babies sleeping in my arms. Gotta fill my arms up with something else. Right now it's dirty laundry and dirty breakfast dishes. Have a great day friends. By the by, what season are you in? Until next time.

I'ts Hip to Be Ethnic

It seems as if the publishing world is staring to figure out that Blacks, Asians, Native American and many other minority groups, read too. The blogosphere has been buzzing lately with lots of posts about the lack of minority characters in children's books. Yes, we have the "we wuz once slaves" books but we also want to see regular old kids being a kids books featuring people with a skin tone darker than beige. Call me Pollyanna but I don't get what the big deal is about multiculturalism being such a phenomenon. If you are a reader, you read. I read books that scream well-written or exciting. I don't care what the main characters background is. Actually, scratch that. I do care because sometimes a book with a character that is different than me is even more intriguing. I love to read books and learn about a different place, a different time period, a different culture. Good books are good books. However, I know that sometimes people who are not in the minority just don't even think about it. Not because they are racist, or ignorant, but because it's not on their radar. Think about it, how often do you think about what it feels like to be a person with a disability.(Is disability PC? Forgive me if it's not the right term.) Do you think about writing books with a person in a wheelchair as the main character? Do you seek those books out? Probably not, because it's not on your radar. (But you should totally read Sharon Drapers Out Of My Mind cuz it will blow your mind) It's just a matter of retraining or shifting our perspective. I'm very happy to see lots of discussion and conversation about multiculturalism. When you know better, you do better. Knowledge is always the key that unlocks the door to understanding. Hope the momentum keeps up. For more information, head over to Publishers Weekly and read Elizabeth Bluemle's article, The Elephant in the Room. Until next time.

What's Happening??

Oh, how I wish I had news for you my loyal (yet quiet) readers. Isn't it funny when you are a writer people always want to know are you writing anything new, do you have an agent yet, what's happening? It is such a long, slow process. I am currently waiting. I have gotten very good at it. Okay that is a lie. I hate waiting!! Anywho, I never heard back from the one agent that was somewhat interested in my work. I have another agent on my radar but I am waiting right now to get some feedback on one of my manuscripts. I entered a contest and win or lose, they send you back your manuscript with feedback which is huge!!! So once I get that back at the end of the month I will work on it and then start the agent search all over again. I like focusing on one agent at a time. It seems more thoughtful and less frenetic than just query bombing 10 agents at the same time. It takes longer, but I work better that way. I think agents prefer a more thoughtful approach as well. Have a fab weekend my cyber friends. Until next time.

Home Sweet Home

Back from our little trip. Note to self, never try that again!!! It was kind of a disaster. Well disaster is pretty strong, but it was really stressful. Kids get super ramped up in a new environment, on a new schedule and it was exhausting by myself. We actually came home a day early because I was so overwhelmed. Oh well, never say I didn't try.

So my posting may be pretty sporadic this summer. With both kids home and getting up early (and driving me insane) it is hard to be on my writing schedule. But I did want to share a super cool event that is coming up. In case you haven't heard there is going to be a FREE online writing conference. Did I mention FREE!! It has been buzzed about all over the blogosphere and tweeted about on twitter. So check out the Write On Conference. Some top agents and editors are on board so it sounds really exciting. Until next time.

ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!!!

Going on a little vacay with my kids. Just me, a two year old and a five year old in a mini van for 4 hours. (GULP!!) Somebody hold me!! Omm, I am a Zen warrior.
Anywho, send good vibes my way. Of course road trips are no excuse for getting behind on reading. I've got two great books on CD from the library that should keep me awake and entertained. www.amazon.com/Why-Third-Husband-Will-Dog by Lisa Scottoline. The title alone sounds hysterical. I also have David Sedaris: Live For Your Listening Pleasure. The kids will be watching videos in the back and I will be driving and hopefully laughing my cute little booty off. I will be off line until Monday. Have a fab weekend. Until next time.

Yum, Cheerios

Gotta love a cereal that is both good for you and supports authors!! In case you don't know Cheerios is looking for America's Next Top Children's Author!! Spoonful of Stories is looking for new authors to submit an original story geared towards 3-8 year olds. I think it has to be no more than 500 words. The winning entries will be published and the book will be in boxes of Cheerios. I tend to be more of a serious writer but I've been working on a little age appropriate piece to submit. Deadline is July 15. Grab your pens and good luck. Until next time.

Trust: The Finale

I'm rereading The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver. If you haven't read it get your booty in gear and head straight to your local bookstore. It is absolutely one of my favorite books. I read the author's note and she writes that she waited 30 years for the wisdom and maturity to write the book. That is a long time!!! This really made me think of one of my favorite quotes by the brilliant Julia Cameron,

"What we want to write wants to be written. As I have an impulse to create, the something I want to create has an impulse to want to be born."

In reflecting on yesterdays post I truly feel that if this is my story to tell then the universe will make a way. If not then I guess it's not. If I walk into Barnes and Nobles tomorrow and see a picture book they've written there is nothing I can do about it. You can't copyright an idea. Ideas fall from heaven like manna and I guess you'd better be quick about swooping it up before it disappears. Anywho, hope everyone has a fab weekend. I'm celebrating my 10 year anniversary this weekend. (Does this make me seem old?) My dear hubby is taking me out on a date tomorrow. I'm super-duper excited. We're an old married couple with two kids, we don't get out much!! Until next time.

Trust: A Cautionary Tale

I'm a pretty trusting person. Not so much that I would fall for any old trick in the book but trusting enough that I'm pretty honest and open about most everything. So here is my issue. I debated whether or not to go into it on the blog but maybe you guys can either talk me in off the ledge, or at least learn something.

As you know I've been working on my biography of let's call her Mrs. Smith. Maybe two months ago or so I wrote to an organization who worked with Mrs. Smith and had lots of contact with her before she passed away. The director let's call him Mike, was very enthusiastic about my project. He said that he and an author had collaborated on a book about Mrs. Smith that was due out this summer. He sent me some correspondence they had from her and said I should come visit the center. So it was pretty cool that I had someone in my corner who was cheering on my project. When I finished my research stage and started my writing process I emailed Mike to ask him a particular question and in asking my question told him how I planned to format my book.

After that I emailed him a few times and got very limited responses and he stopped answering my questions about Mrs. Smith. I wasn't sure about what was going on but I tried one more time. I thought well maybe he is tired of my questions although I probably asked him less than 5. So I sent him another email just saying thanks for the help and if he could answer my final two questions or atleast point me in the right direction I would be out of his hair. He then sends me an email saying the author of our book wants to know the title of your book, the publisher, the age group it is geared for etc. I emailed Mike back and said as I've said before it is a picture book and I'm just working on a manuscript. So through all this my Spidey senses have been tingling and I decide to call Mike up.Here's how it goes down.

Me: Hi Mike, I'm a little confused on what is going on. I'm not sure why your author is bothered by my project as it is two different markets. Your book is for adults right?

Mike: No, it is for adolescents.

Me: Wait is this the book you said you guys wrote together?

Mike: We were never working on a book together. It is not my intention to make money off of her story.

ME: WTF!!! (but only in my head)

So I'm totally confused. All of a sudden he is working on a book for adolescents which still doesn't have anything to do with me because picture books are a different market. It does have to do with me if these two bozos all of a sudden put out a picture book. That will really hurt!! I like to think people are generally good but stuff like this makes you go hmmmmmmmm. What do you think peeps?  The lessons I've learned from this experience are,

1) Be very careful what you say and to whom.
2) Document everything. My hubby told me from now on to archive every single email. If it turned out they did steal my idea, at least I would have had some email back up to prove it. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.
Until next time.

Creative Play

My BFF Olugbemisola Rhuday -Perkovich has a guest post on a great blog Imagination Soup. If you're a momma desperately trying to come up with summer fun for your little ones you better hurry-scurry on over. Until next time.