Feeling Uneasy

I have been super excited to read The Girl Who Fell from the Sky by Heidi Durrow. I've had it on my list forever and finally got it from the library. The thing is, I've read two chapters but now haven't looked at the book in 3 days. I literally can't go near the book. I've never had this happen. It is sad subject matter, but I read heavy stuff all the time. For heavens sake, my favorite book is Push. How much heavier can you get? I was telling my dear hubby my predicament, that my spirit was just not letting me read the book. He said that maybe that was my spirits way of protecting me. Maybe I'm not to read it right now, but can come back to it another time. Sometimes hubby's are smart. Here's the thing, I read an interview the author gave where she revealed the inspiration from the book. Many years ago she read an article in the newspaper about a mother who took her children to the roof of her apartment building, pushed them off and then jumped. The daughter somehow survived.(Hence the title) I can't seem to wrap my brain around this story and it hurts my spirit to know that there is a real girl with this horrible past walking around in the world. Does she know the book is based on her story? Of course the book is just about that one event and then the rest becomes fiction but still. I'm already in a melancholy mood. It's still winter, I'm anxious about my agent letter that as we speak is sitting on an agent's desk and I'm just in general feeling blah. The book hits too close to home for me to deal with right now. There is mother-loss (my mom died when I was 21), and the character dealing with being biracial(my children are biracial). I know it's an amazing book and hopefully when the sun begins to shine again, I will be able to pick it back up. Anywho, if you love me, send me some happy thoughts and sunshine. Until next time.